Quotes I like ^_^
"I must confess, I was born at a very early age." ~Groucho Marx
"A child of five could understand this. Fetch me a child of five."
"Is this a sexytune Mrs Badcrumble?" ~Eddie Izzard
"You piss me off you Salmon... You're too expensive in restaurants" ~Also Eddie Izzard.
"I think we should take Iraq and Iran and combine them into one country and call it Irate.
All the pissed off people live in one place and get it over with." ~Denis Leary
"To lose one parent may be regarded as a misfortune; to lose both looks like carelessness."
"You don't appreciate a lot of stuff in school until you get older. Little things like being
spanked every day by a middle aged woman: Stuff you pay good money for in later life."~Emo Philips
"I was pulled over in Massachusetts for reckless driving. When brought before the judge, I
was asked if I knew what the punishment for drunk driving in that state was. I said, "I don't know... reelection to the Senate?"
"I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of
the boy next to me."
"Hearing nuns' confessions is like being stoned to death with popcorn."
"Thank God I'm an atheist."
"Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for
the rest of his life."
"When did I realize I was God? Well, I was praying and I suddenly realized I was talking to
"I would have made a good Pope."